So I suppose the place to restart is a timeline. Here is the last two years in a handy dandy bulleted list:
- Have temp job at corporation that previously laid me off
- Unhappy at said job, start contracting out my services in addition to full time job which requires working late into the night
- Become seriously sleep deprived
- B.C. turns 5
- G.C. turns 3
- I turn slightly crazy and start wondering why the colors look so pretty
- Get gently prodded by Partner that perhaps something needs to change
- Eschew all things fun and become an automaton of work, kid things, work, play with kids, work
- Cry for no reason at all
- Get loudly “talked to” by Partner that a change needs to happen
- Repeat steps 7-10 for a couple of months
- B.C. turns 6
- G.C. turns 4
- Get yelled at by Partner to make a blessed change all ready or heads were going to roll
- Quit corporate job in a horrible economy and decide to become a full time consultant
- Rock in a fetal position while banging my head on a wall
- Land with a fantastic company that allows me to repeat step 9, skipping step 10 and 11
- Decide that I need to reclaim a little corner of my own world
- Sit down at desk
- Type this list
So that brings us to now, where I have carved out a good 10 minutes while the children are watching Tangled to jot some thoughts about my brood.
B.C. started at a great school that wasn’t great for him. So at the tail end of this year, about three weeks, we moved him to a local Montessori charter school. Hopefully we will no longer have to hear the whole “ADHD” words anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that people and children struggle everyday with ADHD. However, the boy who is currently sitting on the couch, lazily semi watching his “sisters” movie is not one of them. He is wiggly when forced to do something he does not enjoy. He does not enjoy coloring for ten minutes a stretch. He therefore wiggles. That does not make him ADHD. That makes him a 6 year old boy. Who is now at a school that allows movement. See hopefully that drama is over.
He is getting to an interesting age. He is figuring stuff out faster then I can make stuff up. This is problematic, because I feel like I just convinced him of magic two years ago and already he is questioning it. I think it is my right as a parent to have more than two years of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy shenanigans and he is not at all cooperating.
Had to pause and put the Girl Child into her Beauty and the Beast dress. I tried to point out to her that perhaps her Tangled dress would be more fitting but she just sighed and said, “No Mama- this one is yellow.”
Which is a true statement but I don’t know why it is relevant.
Don’t judge me. I hate Disney princesses as much as the next semi feminist child of the 80’s womyn. I do. But my political talks to her don’t seem to sink in through the layers of fake make up, tiaras, hair tyes, and general, fabulous G.C. stubbornness. She dresses up. She walks in her fake plastic heels as well as any model and much better than her two mothers. She is my girly girl. God help us all.
So there you have it. A brief timeline of my life. My Boy is growing into a dude. A smart, logical, “pull up your pants” dude. He is still such a gentleman. Still such a wonderful, kind fellow. But I swear he rolled his eyes at me the other day. And he has announced that I can only tell him I love him once a day. Just Once.
My Girl is growing into a 16 year old teenager thing. She flirts, she giggles and tosses her hair. She has picked out a husband already. Her vocabulary is staggering weird. She will say, for example, “Mama- those birds aquatic.”
See the problem there? She knows the birds are aquatic- but doesn’t say the word “are”.
And I could not possibly love either of them more than I do.
So much do that I had, for awhile there, given up a lot of what makes me happy to usher, escort, cajole and force them along in their lives.
But it is time for me to take some of my life back and do something just for me.
I find so much happiness in writing.
About them. And me. And maneuvering through life as their parent.
Because I need to document their little stories so I have something to read to their first boyfriend/girlfriend to scare them away.
It’s my job and I love it.